Spouses

[Nebraska_cichlids]

Hi All! The forum has been going somewhat slow the past few days and you all should have the time to share some advice regarding the biggest obstacle in the hobby: how to convince your spouse to approve of additional tank space!

Here's what works best for me: have two not-so-compatible species share a tank. After a few days of the small guys being bullied by the big ones, wife softens up and approves a new tank. ("Not-so-compatible" within reasonable limits, of course!!)

Perhaps you have a method going that you'd like to share?

 

[Lisachromis]

Yeah, it's called marrying someone interested in the same hobby! LOL

:tongue:

 

[Griz]

That's what I did !

When we were dating I actually bought her a 20gal tank for our first Christmas. (We had only been together a short while and I figured this was a "safe" gift.) I took a lot of kidding about it from friends but she loved it and the rest, as they say, is history.

 

[tjudy]

Take up golf. Get a set of cheap, used clubs and then leave ads for $1000 sets of better clubs around the house. Spend $100 - $150 a week on greens fees. Be gone for 3-4 hours twice a week (plus another couple evening to go to the driving range) leaving her with the kids.

When she starts to really complain about the golf, tell her that if you have to choose a hobby that you will choose aquarium keeping. Ask for a $300 a month aquarium budget, which is a lot less than one month of golf, and unless you buy a tank set up every month you will never use all of it. Point out that your hobby is at home and does not take nearly as much time as golf... plus your hobby keeps you home to stay with the kids so SHE can go do something with her friends.

Worked for me...

I have heard that hanging out at sports bars and drinking a lot works too...

 

[retro_gk]

1. Make sure spouse does not visit forums you frequent...

 

[Mike Wise]

My wife (of 33 years!) is my headache. She wants me to redecorate my fish room after 25 years - new walls, new ceiling, new ceramic tile floor (Larvikite is too expensive here, Tom), new stands & new tanks! I think this is her way of keeping me too busy to have any fun breeding fish!

 

[Fatts]

In the Navy we have a saying "Easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission"... but that only worked once. After that she threaten my life!!!

 

[DannyG]

Having unpacked two tanks from storage, the current excuse is: it is a shared experience with my son, AND I have promised to leave the other tanks in storage. My pointing out the gerbils, bunnies (second go round), ducks, cat(s)... one now, has been four, and dog, all of which she brought into the family, as they enrich the life of all, especially the kids, somehow does not win points for the fish. I wonder if I glue fur onto the fish... of course, the winning personality of apistos helps (you know apisto have more personality than the gerbils and the bunnies... but they all are CUTE).

 

[blueblue]

The approach i adopted in the past for adding tanks was: When my wife was NOT at home, i bought in 1 tank at a time... as the tank was NOT big, i could easily find some place for it.... and gradually, after some months, when she did the audit, she would find that there're many more tanks... then i would say "i already told you about it last month OR you remembered wrongly about the number of tanks we had! ... "

Right now, i have already well-controlled myself and i will not add more tanks. Moreover, i am going downsizing and have succeeded in cutting 4 tanks recently

 

[nightowl1350]

LOL...I tried to add 2 x 10g when hubby wasn't looking. They were in the back seat of my car, I was going to slip them in the basement unnoticed when he wan't home. Didn't he have to drive a neighbour somewhere and my car was the easy one to get to The friend is over 6' so I knew he would need to move the front seat...had to warn hubby to move the tanks or there would be a loud crack!

Oh well, he doesn't do the w/c so he doesn't complain much about more tanks.

 

[Xanathos]

The problem comes from the fact that many spouses ( or husband, because yes, there is female hobbyist out there, it's not a myth ) have a level of "normality" around 1. So, if you have more than 1 tank, you obviously found in the "abusive" section

So, here is a solution that I tried and it worked great for me

1 - Find a fellow hobbyist around you that has more than 10 tanks. The best results comes from people having more than 50 tanks at home. We all know one from our local club.

2- Show them to her

3- On the way home, tell her how much you think it's way too much and that 25 tanks would be just right for your ( actual ) needs.

It worked fine for me

Phil

 

[SinisterKisses]

Living proof that there are female hobbyists! In my case, its easy to add extra tanks...I AM the wife (okay, well girlfriend still technically, but legally we're common-law ) So, how did I manage to aquire 12 tanks in the 2.5 years we've been together? Simple.

I told him I was getting another